Excerpt from Miami Knights: Ava Livita AcevedoShare

Excerpt from Miami Knights: Ava Livita AcevedoShare

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she begins to question her self worth. Her relevance dissipates as she constantly finds other, younger, more desirable woman to compare herself to.

I am there. Sure, I’m smart and quizzically intelligent and I’m not that terrible to look at, but that’s it. There are no awe inspiring moments that happen when I see pictures of myself. Nothing like the urgency that propels me when I look at my Facebook page and relive the moments of ecstasy that my younger, more gorgeous selves live daily.

I follow them everywhere. Twitter. Facebook. Ning.com. LinkedIn. MySpace. YouTube. Wherever they go, there I am. Maybe I’m hoping that at the ripe old age of forty-three they will take notice of my intellect and my station in life and desire to be like me. Maybe I secretly hope they wish they had my wisdom. Not having to live through the dramatic bullshit that plagues every twenty-something girl at some point in her life.

I, personally,had outlived the bull shit. And I didn’t mind writing about it. My blogs were candid and explosive. At least most of my readers thought so. I had nothing else to hide and no one else to hide from. I was an open book and ready to put it all on the coffee table of life. Not sure what I wanted to accomplish really. Just knew that I needed a release. Writing was my only release. The one place where it all made sense. Where I could be everything to everybody all the time.

I wasn’t one of the popular, pretty chicks that I wrote so flamboyantly about. But I made my way around Ohio. People knew me. Knew my work. And that little tidbit made me proud. Something to be said when your creativity precedes your name. I think every great artist ascribes to be here. And here I am. But for some reason, it's just not enough. I need more. Much more.