How to make $600,000 with the stroke of a pen

Okay, so there's really no way to make that kind of money just by stroking your pen - get it - stroking your pen. Oh, okay. Enough of that - well, I got ya here so ya might as well stick around because I actually do have something valuable to say - or witty - whatever floats your boat.

As we speak - or better - as I type - I am working on writing a grant for $600,000 and getting paid a nice little sum of money to do so. Okay well, maybe I'm not writing it at the same time because I'm writing this and how could I --- OH you get the pictures. But let me start from the beginning.

Once upon a time a young, gorgeous, delightfully sensuous - oh sorry - got a little caught up. Okay, a few weeks ago I was conducting some business on behalf of my 'paying the bills' job. As I wrapped up my meeting I wanted to be sure that I left my cards. Well, I had run out of the cards my 'paying the bills' job purchased for me, so I handed her my business cards that indicated my wonderfully exceptional experience as a writer. Well, as with most business cards, I figured it would be tossed to the wind or in the bottom of some slush pile with no sign of light. Not so.

A week ago this person called me, asked me if I wanted to write a grant for this school, and I said yes. And here I am - knee deep in research, construction statistics and a real desire to get this money.

Now I need to point out that I have, for a grave majority of my writing career, stayed as far away from grant writing as I possibly could. To much work. To little pay. And, you typically end up chasing the dollars because clients usually don't want to pay. You get stuck in meetings that go no where and with timelines that are so tight even Paris Hilton couldn't squeeze them in. So, why did I change my mind so hastily - oh I didn't tell you I took no time at all thinking it over - I said yes immediately. Why the big change? Well, I want to write.

That is the only reason, the main reason, and the primary purpose of journeying into these unchartered territories. And I have to say - I'm excited, nervous and crunched for time. I have two weeks to get this pulled together and we've only had one meeting. I'm great under pressure - but this just might take the cake. But I will prevail. Even if it's only in the confines of these cyber walls.